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Two hockey points; one virtual, one real

- My worst fears are coming out about NHL '07. IGN has reviews up for both the 360 and PS2/XBox versions. Now, if you don't look at the scores, IGN writes good reviews; it's when you see that a game is rated as very average, just to get a score in the high 7s, that's when you think they suck. But the guy they have writing about hockey knows his shit, even if he forces a LOT of his jokes (you're not Canadian, dipshit. Stop writing "aboot"). But I read the review yesterday for the 360, and it was what I feared; basically, it's the second coming of Christ, and just booting it up gives you a 20 second, super-intense, play-with-your-prostate orgasm. That's not very good to someone that doesn't like spending four hundred dollars on new systems.

Then, the review for NHL '07 on PS2 came out. OK! Let's see if they have new shit in this game! I'm sure EA will come through, and add enough cool new shit for the new generation! They wouldn't just update the rosters and put out the same engine, while giving us one or two shitty new innovations, while charging full price and insulting my intelligence!

The review starts... "Sports games have a problem. Too often, sports titles are accused of lacking true innovation and providing nothing more than polished-up graphics and a roster update. While NHL 07 is an impressive game, those accusations ring true in EA's latest current-gen hockey title."

Uh oh.

"The graphics, audio and game engine feel exactly the same as 06."

No... no...

"It's pretty clear that with the possible exception of Madden NFL 07, publishers like EA and 2K Sports have their eyes focused squarely on next-generation titles. That's fair, since most gamers have their eyes focused in the exact same place. But the sad fact is that as we near the end of the lifespan of the Xbox and PS2 and as PC titles are increasingly being labeled "next-gen," the newest batch of sports titles are devolving into budget games, like Madden 2004 for the original PlayStation."

You're whores, EA. You're all Godless whores. Yeah, Madden '04 was a "budget" title... AT THIRTY BUCKS! Now, granted, NHL '07 is $30, and NHL 2K7 is $20, but I do not want to pay near full price for nothing more than a roster update! Furthermore, I feel like my decision on when to get a new system is being made for me by third parties. "Innovation? You gotta pay the cost, bud! And at $60 for the games (both hockey games are going full price) and $400 for the system (the core is useless, you HAVE to go for the full system), you're gonna be paying the cost! BEND OVER AND BE BRANDED, SHEEP! BRAY FOR ME, BITCH!" "BAAAAAAAAH!"

I got my PS2 in 2001 because of NHL '02. It was more than I'd ever seen before. But... um, systems weren't $400 then (and that's NOT including the XBox Live subscription! Plus the extra shit you have to buy nowadays to be competetive in games. "Well, all said, it's only about $10 for most of the good shit in Morrowind!", says Sarah, who's really smarter than that...), I think I paid $200 for my PS2. Inflation is not that much! And while I'd like to stay with the current gen longer, the NHL games are always the highlights of my year... this makes me a very unhappy consumer. Even if the new one for 360 is really that good.

As for the REAL NHL, I can only say two words...

... Fifteen years?



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 13th, 2006 02:16 am (UTC)
As for the REAL NHL, I can only say two words...

... Fifteen years?


Isles = a joke. XD
Sep. 13th, 2006 02:17 am (UTC)
Other than that... you're a bitch. >:O
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )