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Random videogame shit before I dive into a brand spanking new copy of TEW

- Football Manager is like crack. I swear to God, this game is going to kill me someday. You're going to find my corpse slumped in my chair, and beside me, you're going to see frantic scribbling of scouting assignments, training schedules, and finally, in my blood, you're going to see, barely legible, "GILES BARNES IS A DUMB FU", at which point I'll have passed out. (For anyone that doesn't understand football or it's management games, just skip ahead to the next bullet point. As a matter of fact, forget it; this is basically me having a one on one conversation with Fenix at this point. XD)

I decided to take a break from my primary Sunderland team - which I've made good enough to win two straight Carling Cups - and make a SUPER Sunderland team with the editor. Like with any console game, I created in male friends that I knew, and instead of making myself a player, I made myself the manager of the team (and a young manager at that; how often do you see 26 year old managers in England's second tier?). I made dmajohnson and armordragon into fullbacks, put togekid and Terrell on midfield, and even made sam767 in as a youth player/midfielder. And then I put swordsaint0 as a goalkeeper. And out of lack of knowing anyone else who could fill the role, I put Shawn as my striker (since I don't know Fenix's full name. D:), and to top off the irony, since UEFA has a thing for home grown talent in their competitions, I made him British XD. This gave me a group of players who, with the oldest one being Dale, were not only exceptional players, but also young enough to be good for a long time, especially with Sunderland's preference to younger guys as it is. Oh, and I jacked up our finances to £100,000,000, gave us a future income of £10,000,000 for the next five years, raised our reputation enough to be able to send scouts around the world, and jacked up our transfer budget from £2,000,000 to £85 million. Oh, and I maxxed out our training facilities and youth academy. Fairness? What's that? I want to win Europe in three years! <3 In other words... I basically did for Sunderland what Abromovich did for Chelsea, so no haters! >:(

Of course, that exposed one problem with this game: whenever you scout another player, they compare that player to your best player on that squad, and make recommendations there. For instance, if you've got a fullback playing out of position as a right back (like I had with my other Black Cat team, with Timmy Simons on the right side), and don't have any other dedicated right backs, it's going to tell you that just about any player in football is an instant purchase, especially if they're comparing that player to someone like Michael Kay, who would never see past my reserve team (on my old Sunderland team, I ended up swiping a wonderkid named Paul Dyer from Chelski for like £2.6 million. Steal!). That also works if you have spectacular players on your team; no one else, compared with these studs, is a "worthwhile purchase", and that's a problem when you play a 4-1-2-2-1 with an emphasis on attack; basically, you have to roll the dice a little bit. I ended up getting Giles Barnes from Derby County for £3 million, which was very good; he's got some promise, the only problem now is that he's immature. And for my set pieces, I probably overspent on Celtic's Shunsuke Nakamura for £4.6 million, though he did lead my team in assists and provide me with some nice shirt sale revenue, as the Japanese are nuts and will buy anything with their players on it; too bad that he might not get off my bench now that we're in the Premiership. Eventually, I shored up some holes on defense with Dutch fullback Michael Jansen (might be a mistake; he's one dimensional, and a diva; him not starting in 2007 could be a problem), and made my left side outstanding with Patrice Evra from Manchester U., Reto Ziegler from Spurs, and a potential future pick with Fabrizio Zambrella. Needless to say, my team looked IMMEASUREABLY different from what Sunderland's team looked like in real life when they started their season winless and losing to teams like Bury; the only guys that started on the team that were playing in the starting eleven at the end were Robbie Elliot and Graham Kavenagh, and they're old and have been replaced; Kenny Cunningham and Stanislav Varga were rotation players, but have essentially been rotated out themselves.

This team, playing what I like to call the "Flying V" (four fullbacks arranged in a line, one defensive midfielder, two centre midfielders, two attacking wings and the striker), comfortably won the Championship, and made the finals of the Carling Cup, eventually losing to Arsenal. I have an aversion to Arsenal because in both of my seasons, they have a habit of kicking the everliving shit out of me; if I lose a match in a blowout, there's a firm chance that it's Arsenal that did it, and they knocked me out of both English cups in this game. You're talking to someone that has a winning record against Manchester United, and has taken half his points against Chelsea, but can't get a sniff against the Gunners. Go figure. But we did win the Championship, and all competitions considered, we had a +90 goal differential, which is to be expected when you're beating up on the Southends and Prestons and Barnleys of the football world. So naturally, I'm stoked for the Premiership; all my players are coming back, and I've got more plyaers coming in (I picked up English U21 superstar Tom Huddlestone from Spurs to replace Kavenagh, and Italian wonderkid Okaka - a dominating figure in my other game when he got older - for some high fees). Everything's going to be great! Sure, maybe the big clubs will try to snipe my superstars, and that'll piss them off, but they'll get over it! I won't have any problems! I'm going to eventually win the Premiership, then maybe even Euro--

Inter have made a structured bid worth £38,500,000 for Terrell Rose.

Sunderland chairman Niall Quinn feels that this offer is too good to turn down, and has decided to take matters into his own hands and negotiate the deal on behalf of the board.

... Un-fucking-believable. How realistic is this game? The big squads have successfully raped the smaller ones!

Mind you, Terrell's value, due to being hurt for a lot of the 06-07 campaign, was only about £9 million pounds. Needless to say, though, this threw a monkey wrench into my plans. But then again, this isn't something I can't get past! After all, I can put in a bid for Manuel Fernandes, I'm sure he'll want out of Portsmouth, right? It's not like I'm going to lose anyone el--

Man Utd have made a deal in excess of £44,000,000 for Heimdall Imbert.

Sunderland chairman Niall Quinn feels that this offer is too good to turn down, and has decided to take matters into his own hands and negotiate the deal on behalf of the board.

... Now I'm REALLY in trouble. D:

Furthermore, I realise now, with all of my created players being scouted by the largest, richest teams in the world - Chelsea, Manchester, Inter, Barcelona, Milan, etc. - that I'm in danger of potentially losing just about everyone I have. That's too many fucking people to replace, especially judging by the fact that all of these deals seem to be structured to pay over the length of a year or two (I wouldn't know, I can't SEE them!); that means that I can't just throw a £10 million bid at too many people, I'll kill my profit line.

So far, I've taken to renegotiating the deals of Shawn and Samier to include a minimum release clause of £30 million and £25 million, respectively. I've also managed to do well on the transfer market to replace the players; I've changed my formation to a 4-1-2-1-2 to accomodate Okaka, and replaced Terrell with Manuel Fernandes for (a probably too-high) amount of £17.5 million. I also made my backline pretty good, by adding another Dutch guy (Khalid Boulharouz; I've practically got half of Holland's national team on my squad, including Jack), and West Ham's Anton Ferdinand; anytime I can call Patrice Evra the weak part of my defense, I have a good defense. In addition to that, I've got my OWN young players developing well; Stephen Elliot is officially a top notch striker now and will earn a place relieving Okaka on the front line, and Grant Leadbitter is going to be dangerous. My team is good enough where I can lend out some of my younger guys, like Ziegler, Zambrella and Jonathan Stead (who I'd transfer, but he's got a 40% sell-on to Blackburn Rovers. I lost Chris Brown, which I think could hurt me in the long run (he's at Wigan), but meh. And my youth academy is looking dangerous. Overall... I'm solid.

Now, if I could beat the big clubs off my big players. :(

- It's ironic that after buying Portrait of Ruin... I've gone back to Dawn of Sorrow. I wish the game was more balanced, but anytime I don't have to read the ear-bleedingly bad dialogue between Charlotte and that Morris kid is good time. And Charlotte isn't even as pretty as Soma Cruz, who is second only to Prince Falenas for "Gayest Looking Male Leed Character Who Happens To Get A Lot Of Pussy". Someone at Konami watches too much anime.

- My brothers Billy and Stephen are getting an XBox 360 and Wii, respectively. I am annoyed, especially looking at the formers' Christmas gift, which sits in my closet, taunting me.

"You know you want to play me, Chris..." "You know my mind well..." "C'mon... why not buy a 360? No one will know..." "I just bought a new car, and that one might need transmission work!" "Aw, c'mon... it's only $400 for a system!" "That's a lot of money I can't handle right now! :(" "You KNOW I was the last copy of this game in Wal-Mart, Chris... I won't be around forever..." "I'll try to get you somewhere else!" "And your PC isn't powerful enough to play me..." "OK, you're just being mean now..."

I can't wait to get Oblivion out of my house. He's not a nice game, and to top it off, the fucker drank the last of my Pepsi. :(

- Capcom Classics Collection 2 is actually better than the last game. Genesis Collection is not so nice.

- Finally, nothing - NOTHING - is worse than someone who will buy you a Christmas present right in fron of you and make you wait for it until Christmas. That is my situation right now, with Twilight Princess taunting me from the living room. I swear, I have no peace in this house, as my living room is on the other side of where Oblivion is... Ow! The fucker just flicked my ears! >:(


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 20th, 2006 01:50 pm (UTC)
I think your Oblivion is defective.

Last week I had a wonderful philosophical conversation on the duality of man relative to my doing good deeds dressed as a member of the Dark Brotherhood with my copy.

He keeps bitching that I won't download Mehrune's Razor, though, so I think I can see how that could turn ugly...
Dec. 20th, 2006 11:03 pm (UTC)
Igarashi watches too much bad anime. :-P

You're starting to hear the same voices I do, apprarently. ^_^ Welcome!

"You know Samu wants you to play me, 'Bus ...."
Dec. 21st, 2006 06:48 am (UTC)


Bu hey, you can always get the system(s) later, when more games are out, bugs are worked out, and they don't cost an arm and a leg. ;)

'course, you know my offer's al-*SHOT AGAIN
Dec. 21st, 2006 06:25 pm (UTC)
I posted a huge ass post about footyman but my compy ate it.

Dec. 21st, 2006 07:56 pm (UTC)
... So re-make it! I don't get to talk about footyman with anyone else. :(

(Spurs!? :( )
Dec. 21st, 2006 08:13 pm (UTC)
One question:

Is there anyway to convince my board that my team could use more coaches/scouts? I can only have seven scouts employed - my board recommends six - and it's really fucking me up, as in order to bring in a super-stud, 20-20 scout, I have to let someone go, and his knowledge with that.

And for coaches, I'm tired of playing musical coaches, too. I'll be even more tired when I have to let someone go to bring Kevin Phillips into the fold when he hangs them up.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


Mr. Met
Superbus the BRAVE!!!

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