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OK bitch, you want to hack into my journal? Then I have something for you.

First off, I'm not going to waste my time hacking into that emolicious Dead Journal you have. I respect your privacy more than that, unlike some people I know.

So much to write, so little time, and so much is running through my head, that I'm having a hard time keeping things organised... so you don't like some of the things I say here, eh? Well, there's a reason this journal is friend's only: BECAUSE I SAY THINGS HERE THAT'S NOT MEANT FOR EVERYONE'S EYES. You know, the same reason you write friend's only entries? As a matter of fact, I specifically recal saying I did NOT want access to your friend's only posts, for that very reason. You have a lot of nerve hacking into my shit like that. Fortunately, I'm above that, and take into account our supposed friendship. Apparently, you can't just have an arguement with someone; you have to "win" everything. That's ironic, since you make that same accusation with me when it comes to stupid shit (like sports).

Seeing as how I have to explain my every action all of a sudden, I'll go through your post on that pissant little board you have first:

First off, I'm glad you have this sense of closure you talk about with Jack. Unfortunately, this is what you said LAST time. This is what I was trying to tell you, but no, I'm just a bitter old man, right? I've had too many "screwed up relationships" to know what I'm talking about; hell, you said it yourself! Well, I've also had enough real relationships to say a thing or two, and I can say this: you are the most blindly stubborn person that I know. No matter what anyone says, you'll just do your own thing, no matter how fucking stupid it is. Of course, when we let you just do your thing, you blame us for not pulling you back from the edge, because, hey, we might not want to deal with someone that's kicking and screaming to get her own way (in our case, usually literally). Now, most likely, you'll go back to him after a month, after yet another "I'm lonely and lost and no one loves me waah" fit from you, and another "I can't live without you" fit from him. Same cycle. Sounds familiar, eh?

And that brings me to my main point out of all this: your sad, pitiful need for attention. Ever since we were kids, you always had to have pity, just like your mother. Nothing's changed. This is how a usual conversation with you goes:

You: "I suck. No one loves me."
Anyone: "No Chris, you don't suck."
Y: "Yes, I do. Stop lying."
A: "No, we just told you you're a very bright woman..."
Y: "I don't believe you..."
A: (getting annoyed) "OK Chris, whatever you say."
Y: "Fuck off!" *smack*

You're the only person I know that can go from saying that you're unloved to saying that everyone wants to be like you in a minute's time. Nothing's different: you always need to be coddled. And then, when someone's usefulness is used up, you ask them to leave. Kinda like that day I went to your house, like you asked, but then you asked me and Jenn (who had no ride if I didn't show up) to leave, so you and Jack could have time to "talk"; something that I'm sure you could have handled while we were out in the living room, checking out what Shawn and Samantha were doing. There goes an hour of my day that I could have used for something useful; hell, if you would have just told us to take off, I could have had some time to spend with Jenn, instead of having to take her home. No, instead, the company wasn't going your way, so you kicked us out like dogs. But I forgot, a bunch of LAN freaks wants to be just like you, so you're special... hell, if I took all the kids on FESS that suck up to me everyday and took them seriously, I'd get a big head too.

Stop being such a prick, get overyourself. I'm much better off with what i need, than anyone else could ever know...
Since when have I minced words? Other than dealing with a ticking time bomb over the past month plus (hint to the dense: that's you, Christine). And once again, this goes back to what YOU need. Well, maybe I need some things. I need to talk to someone that will at least get the general idea of what the hell I'm trying to say. And no, I don't expect you to like it, and I don't even expect you to hear me when I say it, as long as you learn something. News flash: I DO know more than you, becasue I've been there, done that. Stop referencing our relationship back in 1998, because you were too young to take anything out of it, and I was too dumb. Since that time, I've done a lot of things with the opposite sex, and I've learned a lot about people (men AND women) and their tendancies. I'm not saying I'm perfect (far from it), but I am saying that if you took the earmuffs off, you might get a nice, outside perspective from someone that's not blowing smoke up your ass, because he doesn't want to see you cry.

Oh, and I need someone to listen to MY problems without someone making a mockery of them (someone not named Jennifer). Basically, if something doesn't revolve around you, then you pretty much shut it out; nothing's changed since you were 14...

And i'm much better off, helping others, then your Bull. You dont slammer things into people, and expect them to listen to you. or Be happy.
Once again, here you go with the "I heal the world through anime" bullshit. Yes Chris, you're God, we get it. Now, don't give me this "you became such an asshole" crap now, because you know that I haven't changed since I was 16; I was blunt in the past, and I'm blunt now, but I've NEVER lied about anything. The only difference, is that in the past, you would just kick me in the nuts, and now, you just read my personal entries in an internet journal. I'm still debating what hurts worse.

Oh, and whatever I do say, weather you listen or not, that's your business, and your loss.

I read your journal, that's a bunch of disrespectful crap, saying that me and jenny touched eachother, that's personal, it was jokingly. I know why you're really are bitter...It's sick, man
Oh my God, and you say I don't have a sense of humour...

Everyone I know online knows that you two were fucking around, without me having to come out and say "Christine and Jennifer were joking". For Christ's sake, you're reading the journal of someone that jokes about "uNF"ing a guy named Ben who lives in New York! AND my "sister" Liz, from Vancouver! That line is dripping with hypocracy, and I'll get to more in a minute...

God You cant even play pool without Yelling at your girlfriend, about how she plays...
Eh? I'm going to have to ask Jenn about this one, because I never remember yelling at her about how she plays. Oh, wait, maybe it's because I was trying to teach her, and correcting mistakes, right? That sounds like "yelling" in your universe, because you can't take any criticisim, constructive or not, and would prefer being petted instead. "Yes, good girl, you're so pretty and cute...". Therefore, everyone else must feel the same way.

News flash: when I play a game, I'm competetive. Jenn knows this (mainly in pool, and sports; bowling's different), accepts it, and actually serves as a nice buffer when I'm acting like an asshole (J: "Honey, it's just a game..." C: "... you're right... sorry..."). We poke fun at each other all the time (you should have seen us today at the bowling alley), but we know it's all in good fun. I can honestly say that in one month (exactly, looking at the date), I haven't had one arguement with Jenn. That's pretty damn nice.

I dont appreciate logs of things i say being repeated on a journal. Never did.
For one, like I told you, I keep online and offline relationships separate; no one that reads my entries knows me - or you - in real life.

And you're one to talk about people saying things you don't want said. How about these two beauts:

"Hey, you know Chris, right? Well, he's slept with 32 women!"

(in front of people I don't know)"Hey, you two (me and Jenn) knock it off, you know she's not 18 until September!" (so fucking sue me...)

You are the fucking QUEEN of saying stupid shit that I don't want for public consumption. And you always give this "I didn't know!!!" look when I question you on it. So, you don't like logs being posted to prove a point? "I didn't know!!!" *shrugs*

oh btw. I dont appreicate jenny sounding hurt when you dont call her.
Relationships include sacrifice..
Endure it.

Now this one makes me laugh. Let's establish a couple facts that are no secret to my girlfriend:

1) I don't like talking on the phone.
2) I like having a little bit of space.
3) I don't know Jenn well enough to know for sure how much space SHE likes.

So basically, if she's hurt by me not calling one day out of four, then she's hiding it well. And if she is, she'll talk to me about it, because I'm not going to hold anything against her; she doesn't need your help for this, thankyouverymuch.

And I'm a little non-plused about you strong-arming my girlfriend into giving you details about our personal life, either. You got what you wanted to know, OK? You happy? Good. Now fuck off, and leave our relationship alone.

I'll leave this open, just for you, schnookums. I'm sure you'll tell all your little lemming friends what a big meanie I am, and they'll come after me, like their God commands them; whatever, I'm ready.

Let's just hope one of those lemmings actually has enough sense to slap some of theirs into you. I seriously doubt any of them has the free will to do that, though.

EDIT: Just remembered the thread you have with your convos with James. What if he didn't like having those posted? "I didn't know!!!"

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
crystal_eli
Jul. 25th, 2004 10:37 pm (UTC)
It's a sad, sad day, when an ex-girlfriend, who happens to be a bit younger as well, resorts to hacking a guy she's now only friends with's, livejournal...
I also hate to say it, but this "I heal the world through my anime board" crap, sounds alot like my jackass "friends" Alex and Tyler... That may not be the best of comparison's in your eyes, but you haveto admit the idea is the same. Especially, if she's using it to give out personal tidbits about you. Now does that sound familiar? As a very wise person once told me, you have to seperate your online and offline lives, it looks to me like you are having some trouble doing that, in this case...Remember that it won't always be easy doing that.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )