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I'm hoooooooooooooome~

I was going to make another voice post at about 5:30 EST, but it sounded like shit because of my Bluetooth piece, and I couldn't re-record it with the phone to my head because it would have been hypocritical for me to do that while yelling no less than twelve times, audibly and out my window, to PAY ATTENTION TO THE FUCKING ROAD AND PUT THE FUCKING PHONE DOWN YOU FUCKING CUNT/FAGGOT, just during the traffic jam on I-495 in DC!

I did get a Bluetooth while I was down in Carolina, and it sucks cock. If there's even so much as a light breeze, you're going to have major static while on the phone - forget it if you're driving, which um, defeats the purpose - and it hurts to be on my ear. It's one of those little, tiny ones that people use to hide the fact that they're actually using a Bluetooth; you know, for the stylish individual~ I can't beat the price (free), but I'm looking for a better one, even if the one I'm thinking of looks more like a gaming PC's headset jack. I'm not looking for style, I'm looking for a headset that doesn't suck cock.

Anyway, there aren't too many highlights from the trip itself; I did manage to find a good R+B/Hip Hop channel (106.5) that seemed to be based out of the Richmond area, but I lost it as I headed towards Fairfax, and at that point, it was nothing but local sports and country! At that point, I just shut off the radio, and didn't turn it back on until I hit New Jersey, where I could listen to WFAN the whole way home. I did stop in Petersburg VA at a place called The Mad Italian. You name your restaurant The Mad Italian, and a Parmesan freak like myself is going to notice! Unfortunately, it was underwhelming; the chicken wasn't breaded, the portions were tiny, the waitress was a bitch, and for a meal that should have been $8.95, somehow, I got charged just up from $13. I left a $2 tip, and for those of you going "wow, that's above 15%!", stop right there, because I typically tip way, way up; if I liked the service, I'd have left a $5, easy. I half expect Aileen winced the moment she read what kind of tip I left; she knows.

I also stopped at the Baltimore Travel Plaza, which has always been a routine stop for me whenever I travel in the area, either by choice (when I drive) or as scheduled (when I used to take the bus to Norfolk). However, things seemed a lot different this time. The first thing I did was throw on my sweatshirt and jeans over my T-shirt and shorts, because I think somewhere in DC, the temperature went from 75F to 45F within a matter of fifteen feet (For those that don't use the gay English system: 23.9C to 7.2C). But I intended to stop in, use the restroom, play my annual game of Evil Galaxian (a hacked Galaxian machine made a LOT harder), get something at A+W, and then leave. But as soon as I walked in, I noticed that the whole place was run down, A+W was closed as well as half ripped out, there were homeless people everywhere, and the whole place stunk like piss. The bathroom was abhorable; one of the sinks was actively ripped out, the floor was sticky, and the smell was unbearable. Ladies, forgive a slight TMI statement, but I wanted to get out of there so badly I almost dribbled on myself because I put my dick back in my pants too fast. I was going to stop at McDonalds instead, but then I realized that I didn't have the cash on hand (tolls going from the north to the south aren't bad, but coming back north, they're terrible, and it was eating my wallet), and considering I was now smack dab in the middle of a ghetto, I didn't want to fuck around looking for an ATM. I got the fuck out of dodge, and figured I'd eat at one of the other travel centres that the state has (which I did; I picked a Roy Rogers farther north. Not exactly exotic dining, but at least it wasn't in the worst neighbourhood of Baltimore).

As soon as I got across the Delaware Memorial Bridge and got to the first rest stop on the NJ Turnpike in New Jersey, I stopped off for a brief nap. That's actually a bit sad, considering that I'm the person that made TWO drives of over 17 hours each without needing to rest for anything other than meals or gas/oil (to and from Moncton, New Brunswick in 2005, with the trip back being even longer because I made sure to go the OTHER direction and stop off briefly in Nova Scotia. And this was in a car that burned oil). Once I woke up (or got woken up by my phone), I pretty much aimed my car north and didn't stop (save for urination and gas; hey, gas is about 40 cents cheaper in New Jersey than Connecticut)... until I hit New York State.

I swear, whoever runs the department of transportation in that fucking state is either a sadist or a retard. As soon as I hit the state, I got held up at the George Washington Bridge because they only had two toll booths up, and one of them was exclusively for EZ-Pass (for those that don't drive a lot, EZ-Pass is like a scanner for toll booths; you just drive through, and it automatically deducts your EZ-Pass balance. I'd think about it if it wasn't tied to a credit card; I don't use credit, I use debit, and nothing is worse than looking at a balance sheet and going "Oh, someone decided to take money!"; that actually happened a couple weeks ago, when I looked and went "WHAT THE FUCK IS MLB.COM TAKING $120 FROM ME FOR!?", forgetting that they like annual, automatic rebills. Not anymore, fuckers; fuck you and the DRMed videos you rode in on). That left everyone furiously merging into the one good lane for cash tolls. Have you seen a bunch of New Yorkers try to be cordial and patient? I thought DC's drivers were assholes; now make them New Yorkers, after last call, in the Bronx. It took me 45 minutes to cross the GW. The next toll ONLY took me 15 minutes. Total cost: $9.50. Then, of course, they had the right two lanes closed by about exit 7 (just past the Deegan), for... no discernible reason. I saw cones, lots and lots of cones, and one NYPD cop to make sure no one trespassed into what I can only assume was fuckin' Eden. What I did NOT see were any construction trucks, or workers, or anything resembling road work for as far as I could see. They had two lanes closed on a major highway because they could; fortunately, I could get into the left lane quick enough to avoid the problems, and unlike my compatriots, I have no problem letting others merge. Especially when it comes to 18 wheelers that could crush me like a sardine can.

After I got past the last toll booth, the rest of the trip was uneventful, as I made no stops, and I think I went form Stamford CT to Seymour in a record 45 minutes, though I guess being used to an area where the speed limit is 70 doesn't hurt; my only guess is that in North Carolina, they use I-440 as the official training course for Darlington. I got home, got my shit upstairs, and as soon as I got stationary... my cat jumped me. I later read in an email from my mother that Brenda has been "beside herself" for the past two weeks, to the point where my mother would have to lie in my bed with her to calm her down, and it showed, as she pounced me, lied on top of me and generally would not let me up. She didn't even let me get undressed; picture me cuddling my cat with one shoe and half of one sock off, and that's pretty much how that went.

In short, though I'm fucking cold - I adjusted to Carolina almost too well - I'm glad to be home and in my own bed again. I'm also glad to have fast, wired internet, as well as to have my XBox be online again, as I might even brave the world... of online shooter play~ Oh, there's also the fact that I absolutely destroy anything I touch in Pro Evolution, but that's beside the point. FENIX, I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 29th, 2008 10:32 am (UTC)
but that's beside the point. FENIX, I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!

Too bad Xbox Live is not available in Saudi Arabia nor do I have a good enough internet connection to play against you. But I doubt you could beat me considering I was playing this series before it was even called Winning Eleven (It was called Goal Storm).

Also, I use your statement to prove that Pro Evo 2008 has defence nerfed. (Poor Blackburn Rovers I've betean them 5-1 twice in a row without even trying on 4-star difficulty XD)
Mar. 29th, 2008 01:58 pm (UTC)
70MPH = Texas Freeway Speed Limit

Anything slower is treason.

We've also got a stretch of I-10 where the limit is 80.

Still, the Germans laugh at us for driving so slow. :(
Mar. 29th, 2008 07:35 pm (UTC)
In 90% of Connecticut (everywhere except the immediate Hartford area), the speed limit is 55.

Mar. 30th, 2008 03:04 am (UTC)
Is Connecticut stuck in the late 1950s?
Mar. 30th, 2008 03:10 am (UTC)
We also have a law that says we cannot buy beer at a market or liquor store after 9PM, or on Sundays.

We can go to the bar and get shitfaced all we want! Can go to the bar, and try to drive home no matter how drunk we are, but buying it at the grocery store to take it home and drink it under our roof? I'd say it's a case of JESUS HAETS BEER, but we're typically not Bible Belt like.
Mar. 29th, 2008 03:27 pm (UTC)
I saw cones, lots and lots of cones, and one NYPD cop to make sure no one trespassed into what I can only assume was fuckin' Eden. What I did NOT see were any construction trucks, or workers, or anything resembling road work for as far as I could see.

Las Vegas is the same way -- about ten percent of the streets are cone'd off for no apparent reason whatsoever. That, or there'll be a hole in the road, cone'd off, that's been there for the past two years. I can't honestly decide which is more annoying.

And while Vegas traffic is tame compared to some of the other big cities I've been to (y halo thar, LA), it's still pretty disgusting when you're merging a four-lane (Well, four on each side of the ridiculously huge median that fools you into thinking it's a one-way street) down to a one-lane and it's a highway to boot. Ack.
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 29th, 2008 07:54 pm (UTC)
The sad thing is that it did make the trip faster; I'm positive that 95 was just as much of a logjam, and 295 is too small to handle rush hour traffic. So I did take the fastest way, no matter what.
Mar. 29th, 2008 04:11 pm (UTC)
As much as "The Mad Italian" brings forth an intriguing image of Mario blasting koopas with flaming pizzas, the fact that it's in Petersburg automatically makes me think "uugghhhh."

Also, yes. It was 70F yesterday and gloriously sunny, it's 50F today and somewhat overcast. We were hit by a very unwelcome cold front during the night. :'(

McD's takes credit cards, I'm sure?
Mar. 29th, 2008 07:57 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it's the first time I'd ever stopped in Petersburg, and it fucking sucked. I wanted SO BADLY to stop into Norfolk (I miss the Mongolian place on Military Highway :(), but it would have been a good four hours out of my way (to and from), and with the way my car is starting to run, and the beating I've given it, I felt it best to just get it home.

I did notice NC's temperature's went down; I guess the entire east coast got hit, but New England got nailed first.

Dear, I do not give enough of a flying shit about McDonalds to put it on my charge card, especially in the area that Baltimore forgot. I was much happier getting better food in a better area for cash. :)
Mar. 29th, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC)
Hmm. It's eighteen hours from west Texas to here, so ... milady might be able to make it without blowing $200 for one night's hotel stay. Hmm.
Mar. 29th, 2008 08:01 pm (UTC)
I've yet to find a BT ear piece that doesn't suck.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


Mr. Met
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