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Writer's Block: The TMI Edition!

September is Pleasure Your Mate Month. Tell us: how do you like to pleasure your mate?
... You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Got an hour and a notebook?

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
shotglass
Sep. 4th, 2008 05:31 pm (UTC)
I saw that, and the only thing I could think of is "oh boy... here come the badly written, below high school level essays trying to pass themselves as ~*HOT XXX EROTICA*~"
superbus
Sep. 4th, 2008 05:35 pm (UTC)
Actually, most of the answers seem to be "who the fuck comes up with this shit!?". I mean, how do I please my mate? How am I supposed to answer that? My mate's on my friends' list, so giving too many details will only directly lead to me not being allowed to "please" her for a long time. What else am I supposed to say? "I please her with warm milk, cookies, and a bedtime story~"? Or am I supposed to go into breathless, Danielle Steel romance novel-like detail of what I do in the privacy of my own bedroom?

"How do you please your mate, Chris?"

"I am a good and loyal man."

"No, how do you REALLY please her?"

"... I fuck her?"

EDIT: Also, what makes September "Please Your Mate" month? Who came up with that? I guess it should be February being that's when Valentine's Day is, but that seems to be Black History Month (lol, give the darkies the shortest month, good one guys), so I guess they needed something for September, and "Send Your Screaming Cracker Spawn Back To School To Be Defeated By Rigid Standardized Tests" month was too long.

What, is it a reminder? "OK guys! It's September! All of you guys in failed, hateful marriages, suck it up and try to go down on the bitch you sleep with for more than a minute and a half! You can do it!"

Edited at 2008-09-04 05:38 pm (UTC)
shotglass
Sep. 4th, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
Ahhh that's... somewhat comforting. I didn't read the answers because I didn't want to be assaulted with FF.N-level bad smut. But seriously, what are they looking for here -- how kinky their users are? Or wank material for their bored interns?

All-around "who put acid in your coffee?" type of question.

REPLY TO EDIT: NO CLUE, it seems like a random excuse for "LET'S BREAK OUT THE PORN!" to me. Or "Hey LJ, we know you hate our Russian asses, but if we give you an excuse to write smut, will you like us more?"

Edited at 2008-09-04 05:42 pm (UTC)
superbus
Sep. 4th, 2008 05:54 pm (UTC)
They're Russians; unless they're Oligarchs, they're not making shit. So I'm pretty sure it's like what Richard Pryor used to say: "We used to fuck to take our minds off of eatin'!"
yubsie
Sep. 4th, 2008 06:46 pm (UTC)
Bzuh, they seriously put that as the Writer's Block question?
superbus
Sep. 4th, 2008 07:51 pm (UTC)
Yep! I had to do a double take myself!
yubsie
Sep. 5th, 2008 01:59 am (UTC)
These things are usually about... school and such.
samuraiter
Sep. 4th, 2008 11:30 pm (UTC)
Last I checked, every month is Pleasure Your Mate Month.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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