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As the entire free fucking world knows, I write for Diehard GameFAN. I think I'm a good writer, at that, good enough to be in the Kliq that I grew up reading, anyway.

Well, here's the thing: the Kliq is pretty exclusionary by default. We only have 24 staff members, and while that seems like a lot, a lot of them don't write, or don't write a lot, or can't do specific games. One of those type of games people get hung up on is PC games. In short, we only have a few people that can handle PC games of any kind (I'll be on that list by next week), though most of the PC games we receive are small, light adventure games from indie developers. This would be fine - I can run them on my system right now, much less Super System that I'll have soon - but I... don't play adventure games. At all. And for me to review one would be irresponsible, IMO; the most adventure game I've ever played in my life is maybe ten minutes of Myst, and - if it counts - my few moments of Discworld glory as a youth. Plus, there's all the console games we handle, and I don't have a PS3. Then there's my columns, though those are really extra, and don't draw as many hits as the reviews, unless I say something really divisive.

So here's what we need: we need writers. And this is a call to quills.

Here are the important details:

* You will receive free games, and the more reliable you prove you are, the more games you'll get.

* Received games have a deadline. One week from shipment (and Alex doesn't fuck around, most shipments get to me from Arlington within a day or two) is standard; two weeks, ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM. The reason for this is because Alex - and most notably, Bebito, our PR guy - get these games straight from the developers, and Bebito puts his neck out for us to get these games. He's SO good at it that we have a surplus. Seriously, if you like free games, this is a good deal. But... you HAVE to adhere to the deadline.

* Columns, and other assorted stuff like games you just choose to review, you can do at leisure, though we tend to like games to be reviewed within four weeks of release, unless it's a retro review.

* It doesn't matter what country you're in, though shipments to other countries have a problem gettng there in a timely manner; our writer in Quebec receives priority shipments after about 7-10 days, which is insane. Canadian customs apparently went insane.

* We need people that own good PCs, and PS3s, but after that, any system you have is groovy. Just be ready for some games you might not like; I've reviewed games like AMF Pinbusters, and I'll get one in a day or so I've never heard of. Sometimes, you'll get some hidden gems (like Puchi Puchi Virus).

* When I left IP in 2006, the internal drama was a bit stiff. That's no longer the case; we're an amiable staff, and our internal disputes thankfully stay internal and don't go out over the public waves. That said, I must warn that occasionally, we've had issues with writers from other parts of the Inside Pulse network, especially the wrestling side. If you hear the name "Chris Hyatte", just treat it like any crazy person; don't look at it, it wants the attention.

Now, I'm not going to vet anyone I don't think can hack mustard. So if you think you can do this, write a sample review; it can be about anything, any game. Keep it to our review standards, and remember that AVERAGE MEANS AVERAGE; we pride ourselves on not ripping a game up, just to give it somewhere in the 7s like most sites. There are two types of review: Ten point, and freestyle, with every style having the ten-point scoring at the bottom, and the Short Attention Span Summary (SASS) at the bottom, which is a conclusion. Examples of ten-point reviews are Robert Capra's Star Wars: Force Unleashed review, M.L. Kennedy's review of Ferrari Challenge for NDS, my review of Space Invaders Extreme, and any review by Alex Lucard. Examples of free-flow reviews are my review of Madden '09, Matt Yeager's review of Yakuza 2, and any review by Mark B.. Write a review, send it to me or post it here, and if I think it's good enough, I'll send it to the rest of the staff to have it vetted. Spelling and grammar are absolutely imperative.

Give it a shot, I say; if anything, you'll get constructive criticism out of me, and ways to improve. Consider that I'm one of the most thorough guys on the internet... and I'm not even one of the most thorough guys on my own staff. You'll become a better writer just by osmosis if you get on the staff, because I think the #1 advantage of writing for DHGF is to write with some of the internet's best, and we're carrying the GameFAN name well... better than Halverson did, in my honest opinion. Furthermore, save Wrestling, DHGF is carrying the rest of IP's content, with two updates daily at the very least. AND you get free games.


( 30 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 27th, 2008 01:30 pm (UTC)
Please don't tell me Hyatte's back.
Sep. 27th, 2008 02:02 pm (UTC)
Hyatte's like a cockroach; he'll never die. Everytime I think he's gone for good, bang, he's back, and being his normal, cocksucker self.

I think he still writes for his personal site, no?
Sep. 27th, 2008 06:03 pm (UTC)
No he's not. But he stalks staff members. You've seen the creepiness he's done with Gloomchen. I know he stalks me, but I outright ignore him and it drives him nuts.
(no subject) - superbus - Sep. 28th, 2008 01:17 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ext_23616 - Sep. 28th, 2008 03:33 am (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 27th, 2008 04:14 pm (UTC)
You've even briefly played the Discworld game? I may be jealous. :p

Sep. 28th, 2008 01:16 am (UTC)
Yep! I personally loved it, until I actually had to figure some shit out. :P

It's considered abandonware, so if you can download it, I THINK you can get it to run in XP/2000 machines. It's free to download at this point from sites like Abandonia or The Underdogs.
(no subject) - yubsie - Sep. 28th, 2008 01:23 am (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 27th, 2008 08:00 pm (UTC)
I'm actually working on a test review as I speak. :P The only potential problem would be that I don't exactly own a good PC, though I could always hop on my brother/mom's desktop here if necessary.

Any particular word count limits I should know about? >_>
Sep. 28th, 2008 12:07 am (UTC)
No, as a matter of fact, I typically drive into "TL;DR" zone myself; my average review goes from 3,500 words to 4,000.

Others tend to go shorter. Alex, Mark and myself are the wordsmiths on the staff.
(no subject) - otosaretatenshi - Sep. 28th, 2008 12:08 am (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 28th, 2008 12:07 am (UTC)
Hope it wasn't 1000 >_>
Sep. 27th, 2008 08:06 pm (UTC)
Alright, I have plenty of time, I'll give it a shot. Plenty of time means tuesdays, thursdays, saturdays and sundays completely off, mondays after 6, wednesdays after 9, and fridays after 3. At those times I usually play Atlantica Online, but I can sacrifice that to do something I've always wanted to try, which is review games. I'll write a sample review like you asked. Now here's an important question: The sample review should be in the format of the review standards, right? If that's the case, can I have a look at one of your personal best reviews to have an idea of what I should keep up with?
Sep. 27th, 2008 08:08 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah, I should mention, I have a Godmachine for a PC, and a wii, and a PSP and DS, and I'm planning on getting an Xbox 360 soon, and a PS3 when I can afford it after that.
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:57 pm (UTC)
Here's my test review. I pray to any god there is, that it's good enough.

(no subject) - superbus - Sep. 28th, 2008 12:14 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - otosaretatenshi - Sep. 28th, 2008 12:15 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - superbus - Sep. 28th, 2008 01:15 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - superbus - Sep. 28th, 2008 01:15 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - otosaretatenshi - Sep. 28th, 2008 01:45 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - otosaretatenshi - Sep. 28th, 2008 01:51 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - otosaretatenshi - Sep. 28th, 2008 01:53 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - otosaretatenshi - Sep. 28th, 2008 05:31 am (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 28th, 2008 12:41 am (UTC)
By the way, I'm looking through the Diehard GameFAN site and I'm noticing some character escaping issues and a couple typos :O
Sep. 28th, 2008 12:48 am (UTC)
Character escaping issues?

Typos kinda happen, though we have multiple people editing articles at this point, so they're not as problematic as they were.
(no subject) - otosaretatenshi - Sep. 28th, 2008 12:50 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - superbus - Sep. 28th, 2008 12:52 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - otosaretatenshi - Sep. 28th, 2008 12:53 am (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 28th, 2008 03:05 am (UTC)

I appreciate the invite, 'Bus, but ... at this point, if I'm not writing something that's not a letter of inquiry to a literary agent, I need to get my eye back on the ball. 'Sides, I've not picked up a game in over two weeks 'til I start the new Musou Orochi tomorrow, and being a (step)dad means that free time is now at a gold standard.
Sep. 28th, 2008 08:14 pm (UTC)
Shipping to Saudi Arabia could be a problem....
( 30 comments — Leave a comment )


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Superbus the BRAVE!!!

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