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Writer's Block: You Wouldn't Understand

Almost everyone coins or uses expressions that make sense to only a few people. What word or phrase do you use most often that you have to explain the meaning of to others?
"Two plus two does not equal penguiins!"

I usually use this when having to explain how something is supposed to be very obvious. This came from a dig I made on someone, saying the same thing: "You ask this guy what two plus two is, he comes back with "Penguins!"". It makes better sense in context.

I want to get a shirt made that has that very saying on it. Just because I can.